


Lessons Learned

by wood_c_thrush



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Mid-Credits Scene, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wood_c_thrush/pseuds/wood_c_thrush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To search out the truth is the honor of kings.  To know the truth already, you just have to be a kid from Brooklyn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons Learned

**Author's Note:**

> Or: what would've happened if the writers had bothered to flesh out Steve's ideology beyond two sentences written as antithesis to Tony to cause conflict.

“Captain Rogers.”

“Your Highness,” Steve acknowledged with a slight nod.  He had been staring at the idol of the panther for almost an hour, now.  It was winning the contest.

“If I may, I would ask your advice,” T’Challa said, approaching with his usual gravitas. 

Steve was surprised, and took care not to show it.  “I’ll help however I can.”

Together, they stood at the wall of glass, the pristine room humming low with the sound of the medical machinery but otherwise silent.  The world beyond was darkening jungle, thick with mist.  It was beautiful, in many respects.  Steve yearned for shouts across cobblestone streets and cigarette smoke blowing off a fire escape.

“My father was a much wiser man than I,” T’Challa finally began.  “He worked very hard to teach me of diplomacy, peaceful relations with the world beyond our borders.  How to care for our people.  I spat on every lesson.”

Steve glanced over.  The king’s expression was unreadable, but his voice sorrowful.  “You lost people because of me.  You lost your father because of a man trying to tear apart the Avengers.  It’s understandable.”

“But not excusable,” T’Challa replied softly.  “When I saw how vengeance consumed Tony, I saw myself.  I saw hatred poisoning his heart, and my own.  I can never make that mistake again.”

Steve shrugged.  “Sounds like you learned from it.”

“I should have recognized how my grief and fear clouded my judgment,” T’Challa countered.  “And so I ask.  How did it not cloud yours?”

Steve half-smiled.  “It did.”

“Your actions saved the life of an innocent, and brought the guilty to justice through the law instead of revenge.”

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared.  I was.”  Steve fixed his eyes on the idol again.  “And I feel the weight of every life taken because of my actions.”

“You regret your choices?” T’Challa mused.

“Not at all.  I’d make them all again.”  The panther’s mouth was open in a snarl.  A warning to those who would harm Wakandans.  Beware the ferocity by which innocents would be protected.  “This is hardly the first time I’ve broken the law to try to do the right thing.  Innocents have always been harmed.  It’s a goddamn tragedy.  But it’s unavoidable.”

“So you feel you have the right to wield such power?” T’Challa inquired.  “Over life and death?”

“I don’t have that power,” Steve denied.  “If I did, no one would ever die.”

“Then how do you resolve this dilemma?”

Steve considered his answer, trying to see past the sorrow swirling in his heart to the truths he knew in his soul.  “When I fought in the war,” he started, “the 107th was captured.  Bucky’s unit.  There was no rescue planned, because too many lives would’ve been lost.”

“And you went alone to save them all,” T’Challa finished.  “I have studied the event.  You are a warrior, as am I.”

“I’m nothing special,” Steve countered.  “Just a kid from Brooklyn.”

T’Challa smiled.  “Many disagree.”

“Someone had to take on the responsibility of making the hard choices,” Steve shrugged again.  “If no one did, then Loki would’ve won four years ago.  Ultron would’ve destroyed the world.  It could’ve been someone else.”

“But it was not.”

“I’m okay with carrying the blame,” Steve said quietly.  “We all have burdens to bear.  And my shoulders are stronger than most.”

“The weight of the world is too much for any man,” T’Challa countered.  “That weight broke Tony Stark.  How long before it breaks you?”

“Guess we’ll find out,” Steve murmured.  They were quiet again for a few moments before he continued.  “I submitted myself for disciplinary action when I got back with the 107th.  I know my actions have consequences.”

“And yet you do not doubt yourself.”

“I doubt myself all the time.  It’s the only way to know you’re doing the right thing and not just feeding your ego,” Steve countered.  “I know I’ve made mistakes.  None of this would have happened if I’d caught the bomb Rumlow had earlier. But you have to keep going anyway, there's no other choice.”  He turned to face T’Challa fully now.  “You and the others were all working under the law to bring us in.  And now Rhodey’s paralyzed, by Vision.”

T’Challa nodded.  “Yes.  Oversight as ordered and best-laid plans, all for naught. It seems that is the lesson we all must learn.”

“Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people get hurt,” Steve stated firmly.  “The same thing happened with Project Insight.  Same thing with Ultron.  Same thing now.”

“We cannot allow it to happen again,” T’Challa sighed, shaking his head.

“Our job is to protect those who need it,” Steve said.  “That has to be the goal.  That’s why I couldn’t sign the Accords.”

“Was saving innocent lives not also the goal of the Accords?” T’Challa responded.

“On the surface, yeah,” Steve allowed.  “But it all depends on who you trust to do the right thing.  After everything I’ve seen of the future, everything I saw in the past… a committee wasn’t going to cut it. Especially without any representation from us.”

“So, again, you feel it is your right to wield the power of life and death?”

“The whole point is to save as many as possible,” Steve argued.  This was crucial, this had to be understood.  “I’m not against oversight or accountability, we need it. But there has to be a better way. I won’t surrender control of my team to people I don’t know or trust when theirs and others' lives are at stake.  I won’t let Wanda, Sam, or anyone else's freedom be stolen from them; we're human, too.  I’ll take responsibility.”  He shook his head himself now.  “You saw the agenda first-hand.  They were going to kill Buck, due process damned to hell.  Only reason they captured him instead is because I was there.  How long before someone ordered Wanda to use mind control on a captured terrorist?  Ordered Scott to shrink down and steal information from our supposed allies? We would have no say, no rights to our own powers and abilities and _bodies_ under the Accords, and it would compromise ours and others' lives. It's a compromise we can't make. I’ve seen it happen before, people forced to bend and kneel in fear.  I won’t let it happen to my family.”

T’Challa bowed his head.  “And I was fully in favor of this.  It is this debt I must now repay.”

“You saved mine and Bucky’s lives.  We’re square,” Steve asserted.

“Not until he is healed,” T’Challa avowed.  “Until you and he can be together again.”

Steve felt his cheeks redden, reliving their last desperate kiss, and he turned back to the view of the jungle.  “You saw us?”

“Even if I had not, I would have known,” T’Challa smiled.  “Your love is quite obvious to those with eyes to see it.”  He paused, looking thoughtful.  “If you were no more than brothers, would you have sacrificed all you have for him?”

“Every time.”  Rain was pattering on the windows now, and it was too dark to see past his reflection.  “Tony and I had disagreements before all this.  Everything that happened just built on everything else.”

“You have not yet answered my question,” T’Challa noted.  Steve blinked, trying to remember where all of this had started.  “How did you truly know your actions were right, when others disagreed?”

It took a bit of thought to parse through his emotions, still flayed so raw.  “It was a gut feeling, at first,” Steve admitted.  “Something about the Sokovia Accords was wrong, but I couldn’t explain it right.  Then… Peggy reminded me who I wanted to be, who she needed me to be. I knew she trusted me.  And Bucky trusted me.  I wouldn’t disappoint them.”

“It was love that informed you?” T’Challa noted curiously.  “You do not seem the type to allow emotion to sway your judgment.”

“It’s impossible to keep it out,” Steve countered.  “And it wasn’t just that.  I… you can’t be supporting the right thing if your actions lead you to do the wrong thing.”

“To which event are you referring?”

“When Tony found an enhanced child and bought his loyalty,” Steve said, a ripple of anger in his voice.  “The kid’s voice hadn’t even changed, and Tony drafted him to fight.  Turned him into a soldier.  I know too much about that.  I’m not sure I can forgive it.”

“You would not have joined the fight, were you the Spider-Man?”

“Of course I would have.  I fought all the time when I was his age.  But this life isn’t a burden someone so young can carry, especially without all the facts.  Tony flashed money, gadgets, and he came running.”  Steve closed his eyes a moment.  “The kid just wanted to do the right thing.  I don’t blame him.  And he wasn’t too badly injured.  But I can’t support having kids fight, no matter how talented they are.  He hadn’t even had any real training, it was obvious.”

“Yes, his abilities were his only safeguard,” T’Challa acknowledged.  “And he was still harmed.  I regret this also.”

“Tony tried to murder Buck in revenge.”  Steve’s thoughts raced back to that moment when Bucky was blasted back, his arm torn to shreds, and he clenched his fist.  “He never brooked any arguments about the Accords, had made up his mind before any of us even knew about them.  He put Wanda under house arrest without telling her, and had Vision lie to her.  He never would have listened to me about the other Winter Soldiers.  Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott are still locked up, due process denied them because people are afraid.  The Accords only exacerbated that fear.”

“You will know the truth by their actions,” T’Challa reflected.  “You have great discernment, my friend.”

 “All the Accords can accomplish is to allow Tony to stop feeling guilty about lives lost in the future,” Steve murmured.  “Shifting the blame is tempting.  But it wouldn’t help anyone.  If I hadn’t made the choice to ignore ‘sovereign borders’ and go after Rumlow, he would’ve released a bioweapon and millions would’ve died." He paused for a moment, sorrow panging in his heart. "No one seemed to mind so much when the Commandos were going back and forth across Europe, wiping out HYDRA. But we like to think the danger's over now. So I do what I can, so everyone can go home and feel that way. Sometimes it still ends horribly, and that's on me, too.”  He turned back to T’Challa.  “I know the Avengers seem callous.  But I’m truly sorry the cost of my actions was paid by your people.”

“Peace is bought at a steep price, and disillusionment is a part of it.  I understand this better now.”  T’Challa held his hands behind him, back ramrod straight, looking every inch the king he was.  “The world is more dangerous now than ever before, but it also has greater protectors. We cannot allow these catastrophes to happen again, should it be within our power.  You will have my cooperation in the future.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Steve replied. 

“I think we are past such formalities now, Steve,” T’Challa noted.  “And I must ask.  What do you plan to do next?”

“Bucky’s safe, and I can’t do anything but wait for him,” Steve observed.  “Other people need my help.  They’ve waited long enough.”

T’Challa grinned.  “I believe it would not be the wrong sentiment to tell you, ‘have fun?’”

Steve smiled fully back.  “I’ll be back soon.  Thank you, T’Challa.”

“No, Steve.  Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This movie gave me an existential crisis. It took a while for me to sort it out. What do you think? 
> 
> And seriously, am I the _only_ one who noticed that Tony Stark essentially bought a child soldier? Anyone? Bueller?


End file.
